Friday, 7 March 2014

Day 9 #100happydays

Today I feel enlightened, and although I have no image of happiness, I do feel happy!
Here is why:

This is a book I was encouraged to read to my son, when my husband was very ill and he (my son) was very anxious, and he didn't really understand it.  I thought I did, but I realised today I didn't.  I met with a counsellor yesterday as I know I have been feeling unhappy.  My rational self and my emotional self seem to be in two separate places, and as this book states, I have been carrying anxious worries with me everywhere.  I even see myself do it physically, I take all my work with me to work and back again each day, even though I know I won't get it all done, but just in case I have a miracle moment where I can speed read all the marking or learn to stretch time I carry it anyway, and I also do that with all my anxieties.  

I have also been reading up on mindfulness and I had a moment of radical acceptance this morning.  Most of my daily worries, they just don't matter, not now, not today, so why bother taking them with me, leave the bag of worries at home, don't carry it everywhere, and I had a much more pleasant and "light" morning walk. 

What a lovely feeling!

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