Day 160 #100happydays

We are all together, it was my nephew's birthday yesterday and we had a big celebration.  I have been doing some thinking and resolving the issues in my head.  I sometimes struggle with whose life I am leading, my own, or others.  I don't need approval to be myself.  My brother got me to put the Menace on this sailing holiday after Kevin died, he thought it would be good for him to learn with his cousins.

Enjoying the sailing holiday, but recognising the limitations of this as an expensive hobby, and unless there is real commitment to it, the need to bow out.  The Menace is enjoying it, but is not as gung-ho as his cousins and maybe we need to find our own path for next year.  The cost is too much to carry on if not really sure that it is something you want to do.

The Menace enjoys the social side of this week, but not so much the sailing, so maybe it is time to invest time in something he would prefer.

However, to have got this far, has been a real accomplishment.

Day 155 #100happydays

I sit here in the peace of my holiday flat in Anglesey, happy to have the Menace back with me.  He has been on a PGL holiday and has enjoyed himself, he now wants a street surf and also did "zip wire three times!!" he told me, having said before he went that he would not do it.

However it was a mixed week, I missed him and he missed me and he learnt the dilemma about freedom and also having to be strong with difficult people.  I found the phone call mid week when he told me about the horrible boy, who apparently was mean to pretty much everyone, but made my boy cry by hitting his weakest point and saying "I'm glad your dad died!" very hard to take.  Needless to say, the Menace was moved out of a room with him.  He did enjoy himself, but learning to deal with bullies is a tough one for us all.

I'm proud of him for overcoming his fears of adventure, and also for sticking it out.  (another boy got punched in the mouth, and I get the impression he didn't have anything nice to say to any of them).  I am also proud of myself, for not just driving up there and dealing with it for him, even if I did say to them they needed to keep an eye, and they decided moving them to separate rooms was the answer.

Still, so happy to have him back, and yes he will do it again next year, but hopefully not with that boy.  It is good for him to have that time learning independence, even if I struggle with it.

Day 144 #100happydays

Day 144 was yesterday.  It is very hot and the storms are brewing, so I am up reflecting on the year.  It is now Saturday and the school has broken up for the summer.  The Menace is upstairs basking in the glory of the first day off, and it has been a reflective week for me.  I went to watch his sports day on Monday, fully aware that this was the say last year that we started our new journey.  He started school on sports day, the last week of term in Year 4.

Yesterday when they all broke up we went off to Butterfield Green and there was a little party (mainly for year one, but some of us Year 5's tagged along).  Last year we missed the party on Butterfield Green because we went of the the Larmer Tree Festival.  I wanted to go again this year, but couldn't make it work, so have my eyes on another festival instead.

It was lovely to sit with everyone and join in.  Our house became the place all the small children went to the loo (must clean it today, smells like a school toilet!)  But wow, this year has been a journey and I can't help but look back and feel proud.  The Other Half, despite being grumpy recently also came out and joined in, and I had a real sense of arrival!

Whether I can sustain that, I do not know, whether it matters, I do not know.  I enjoy these moments of pride, when I realise how far we have travelled in our lives.  This year we relocated, settled in new schools, jobs, lived with new people (the other half and me) and worked at becoming Londoners!

Next year, will no doubt bring other challenges, but I shall enjoy the summer break and the sense of pride while I can!

Day 134 #100happydays

Obviously I have missed a few days out, but not because I have been unhappy, more because it has been very busy.  We buried the father-in-law, which was indeed sad, but as the other half had not really seen him, it was interesting to learn about his life and meet other family members that I was yet to meet.  We then had a friend's child to stay for 4 nights as she had to get her other child through a hospital appointment.  It all got rather busy, and yes rather stressful, but I look back at it all, and recognise that we made it through and all is still good.

We are now rolling towards the holidays, and I feel pleased to be at this point.