tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9641628576620370892024-03-12T16:40:03.845-07:00Living in the Here and Now #100 happy daysUsing mindfulness to find peace in a busy worldcbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.comBlogger102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-63185329040661574202017-06-15T05:32:00.000-07:002017-06-15T05:33:13.079-07:00Day 8: Thursday 15th JuneNot been keeping up with this, but feeling more positive today, as seem to be making some headway with my data analysis. did feel very down yesterday, I missed something, becuause I didn't know about it, and then got an e mail about my PHD, all things to make me feel down. But today, started again, got myself up and doing things. #neverbeaten. #onedailypositive #livinginthehereandnow<br />
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<br />cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-86005222645409639622017-06-12T08:57:00.002-07:002017-06-12T08:58:11.074-07:00Day 5 Monday 12th JuneIts the Menace's birthday, he is 13! Gulp! We have a request for pies for dinner and due to the other half, that is able to be delivered. Feeling calmer today, started on the analysis again #phd #onedailypositive #livinginthehereandnow #100happydays<br />
<br />cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-91487326509956350212017-06-11T12:43:00.001-07:002017-06-11T12:43:40.270-07:00Day 4 Sunday 11th JuneBirthday party accomplished, one happy soon to be 13 year old. Its been a weekend of busy baking, cake making and preparing for a bbq. Lots of kids to feed and entertain for the evening. Seems to have gone well, all are happy. #onedailypositivecbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-62805632110310093732017-06-08T09:09:00.001-07:002017-06-08T09:10:06.846-07:00Thursday 8th June 2017Been to the Dr's this morning, on the recommendation of the nurse on Monday. High blood pressure. Had a little breakdown about feeling blue all the time. She has set me back on the task of writing down my feelings and #onedailypositive. I feel much better for being honest about it. My #onedailypositive today is that I went and was honest. She said to make sure I don't just look after others, but treat myself, so finally bought some blue court shoes! Thats #twodailypositives! #100happydays.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-68749064229715203392014-08-13T18:14:00.002-07:002014-08-13T18:14:34.456-07:00Day 173 #100happydaysI am struggling a bit at the moment, not a surprise, I suspect. I find it hard to move forward, I try not to, but I hold on to old behaviours. Having just finished a holiday, which involved my family and my new life, not always a perfect mix, and then spending 4 days at my parents, grappling with my emotions of my mothers ever failing, but not so close to the edge, health, and my father's controlling behaviour, I have come home slightly angry with the world and I know I am being more assertive than I normally am.<br />
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This may not be a bad thing, but people don't like the dynamics to change and I am not sure it will be well received. I just feel fed up with being criticised, I know that is the way of the world, but it is draining. I need to stop search for approval and enjoy just being me.<br />
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So I will! cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-23645082146312241922014-07-31T01:29:00.002-07:002014-07-31T01:29:48.150-07:00Day 160 #100happydaysWe are all together, it was my nephew's birthday yesterday and we had a big celebration. I have been doing some thinking and resolving the issues in my head. I sometimes struggle with whose life I am leading, my own, or others. I don't need approval to be myself. My brother got me to put the Menace on this sailing holiday after Kevin died, he thought it would be good for him to learn with his cousins.<br />
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Enjoying the sailing holiday, but recognising the limitations of this as an expensive hobby, and unless there is real commitment to it, the need to bow out. The Menace is enjoying it, but is not as gung-ho as his cousins and maybe we need to find our own path for next year. The cost is too much to carry on if not really sure that it is something you want to do. <br />
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The Menace enjoys the social side of this week, but not so much the sailing, so maybe it is time to invest time in something he would prefer.<br />
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However, to have got this far, has been a real accomplishment.<br />
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<br />cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-42841271820392456562014-07-26T15:34:00.002-07:002014-07-26T15:34:29.220-07:00Day 155 #100happydaysI sit here in the peace of my holiday flat in Anglesey, happy to have the Menace back with me. He has been on a PGL holiday and has enjoyed himself, he now wants a street surf and also did "zip wire three times!!" he told me, having said before he went that he would not do it.<br />
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However it was a mixed week, I missed him and he missed me and he learnt the dilemma about freedom and also having to be strong with difficult people. I found the phone call mid week when he told me about the horrible boy, who apparently was mean to pretty much everyone, but made my boy cry by hitting his weakest point and saying "I'm glad your dad died!" very hard to take. Needless to say, the Menace was moved out of a room with him. He did enjoy himself, but learning to deal with bullies is a tough one for us all.<br />
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I'm proud of him for overcoming his fears of adventure, and also for sticking it out. (another boy got punched in the mouth, and I get the impression he didn't have anything nice to say to any of them). I am also proud of myself, for not just driving up there and dealing with it for him, even if I did say to them they needed to keep an eye, and they decided moving them to separate rooms was the answer. <br />
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Still, so happy to have him back, and yes he will do it again next year, but hopefully not with that boy. It is good for him to have that time learning independence, even if I struggle with it. cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-27720774504312777352014-07-19T01:16:00.004-07:002014-07-19T01:16:56.314-07:00Day 144 #100happydaysDay 144 was yesterday. It is very hot and the storms are brewing, so I am up reflecting on the year. It is now Saturday and the school has broken up for the summer. The Menace is upstairs basking in the glory of the first day off, and it has been a reflective week for me. I went to watch his sports day on Monday, fully aware that this was the say last year that we started our new journey. He started school on sports day, the last week of term in Year 4. <br />
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Yesterday when they all broke up we went off to Butterfield Green and there was a little party (mainly for year one, but some of us Year 5's tagged along). Last year we missed the party on Butterfield Green because we went of the the Larmer Tree Festival. I wanted to go again this year, but couldn't make it work, so have my eyes on another festival instead.<br />
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It was lovely to sit with everyone and join in. Our house became the place all the small children went to the loo (must clean it today, smells like a school toilet!) But wow, this year has been a journey and I can't help but look back and feel proud. The Other Half, despite being grumpy recently also came out and joined in, and I had a real sense of arrival! <br />
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Whether I can sustain that, I do not know, whether it matters, I do not know. I enjoy these moments of pride, when I realise how far we have travelled in our lives. This year we relocated, settled in new schools, jobs, lived with new people (the other half and me) and worked at becoming Londoners!<br />
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Next year, will no doubt bring other challenges, but I shall enjoy the summer break and the sense of pride while I can!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-47585717635803430452014-07-08T14:22:00.001-07:002014-07-08T14:22:29.675-07:00Day 134 #100happydaysObviously I have missed a few days out, but not because I have been unhappy, more because it has been very busy. We buried the father-in-law, which was indeed sad, but as the other half had not really seen him, it was interesting to learn about his life and meet other family members that I was yet to meet. We then had a friend's child to stay for 4 nights as she had to get her other child through a hospital appointment. It all got rather busy, and yes rather stressful, but I look back at it all, and recognise that we made it through and all is still good. <br />
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We are now rolling towards the holidays, and I feel pleased to be at this point.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-76561446546887459982014-06-18T04:31:00.004-07:002014-06-18T04:33:56.349-07:00Day 111 #100happydaysResolved some outstanding issues with assignments. Phew!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-51521167964543967612014-06-18T04:31:00.001-07:002014-06-18T04:33:39.023-07:00Day 110 #100happydaysFuneral arrangements all sorted, and sleepovers arranged. Thank goodness for those friends again! The Menace's dyslexia report has come in and the school are being supportive, so all good!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-45886770870437015222014-06-18T04:29:00.000-07:002014-06-18T04:33:11.426-07:00Day 109 #100happydaysTHE birthday party today, they phoned just before to say they couldn't do a swimming party as a child had been ill in the pool. I marched there, got them to swap to the other pool, and we got a bouncy castle thrown in too! Very stressful, but all done for another year! Thank goodness! Plus all seemed happy, so its okay!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-67922996547339896952014-06-15T00:54:00.000-07:002014-06-15T00:54:07.942-07:00Day 108 #100happydaysThe birthday celebrations still going on, the Menace had his friend over. Lots of play, and lots of pottering for me. I do enjoy a spot of pottering.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-81118466806211874262014-06-15T00:53:00.000-07:002014-06-15T00:53:01.400-07:00Day 107 #100happydaysNot a birthday, always a good thing! I went and had lunch with some old relatives. It was nice to catch up with family in London, as most of my family live outside town! Then we had the mine craft game, or trying to set it up. One happy post birthday boy though! The weary traveller returned from his father's boat, as he has been travelling to and fro for two weeks now, sorting out the death. We went for a pint together and the neighbour had the Menace. Good to be part of a community.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-66114944004506747922014-06-15T00:49:00.001-07:002014-06-15T00:49:39.859-07:00Day 106 #100happydaysThe Menace had a lovely birthday (I think). He was happy with his presents although he would have preferred not to have learning things, so he said. He had his friends over for tea, and other than the usual tantrums, he seems to have enjoyed it.<br />
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cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-83676671643419103162014-06-11T08:42:00.000-07:002014-06-11T08:42:37.218-07:00Day 105 #100happydaysThe Menace is excited about his birthday tomorrow. I am struggling with this whole how to deal with Father's Day thing. I have to realise this is not my issue! We're back on whose worry is it?cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-52393985382320352392014-06-11T08:40:00.002-07:002014-06-11T08:40:48.028-07:00Day 104 #100happydaysI really enjoyed today, I was at home and got a lot done!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-24728091842362603412014-06-11T08:40:00.000-07:002014-06-11T08:40:19.221-07:00Day 103 #100happydaysIn to work to mop up issues from exam board, and a good catch up with a colleague, which helped me put things into perspective.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-63237917389777989432014-06-11T08:34:00.000-07:002014-06-11T08:39:28.613-07:00Day 102 #100happydaysA Sunday loafing! On the green with the neighbours. Lovely and lazy!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-91982024044597768112014-06-11T08:32:00.001-07:002014-06-11T08:39:19.259-07:00Day 101 #100happydaysObviously, the challenge is now over, but I want to see if I can find peace and contentment for longer than 100 days, so I am going for 365! Today we had a busy day at home. The Menace went sailing with his friends then went to a party, and we went to see Arcade Fire. They were Awesome!<br />
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I probably shouldn't mention on here my humiliation as my dog misbehaved in the park and a celebrity shouted at me... Not sure which event stayed with me the most, this or the gig!cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-59064092139332422572014-06-11T08:30:00.001-07:002014-06-11T08:36:25.160-07:00Day 100 #100happydaysCaught up with some old friends in the morning before I went home. It was nice to visit St Albans and realise that I don't have that same wrench when I leave anymore. Came back via work...<br />
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The challenge for peace in this world carries on...<br />
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<br />cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-18086256761421382742014-06-11T08:16:00.001-07:002014-06-11T08:16:49.614-07:00Day 99 #100happydaysDreadful day for the Other Half, busy drive to register his father's death then back to pick up the Menace for me, so I can go and host book club. I had a lovely evening, although I drank rather a lot! Stayed over so was able to be the hostess with the mostess. I am very grateful to the Other Half even while he is going through this awful time.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-61908295882682521732014-06-11T08:13:00.002-07:002014-06-11T08:13:54.271-07:00Day 98 #100happydaysAnother busy but productive work day.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-77240439021211488832014-06-11T08:12:00.003-07:002014-06-11T08:12:47.980-07:00Day 97 #100happydaysSuccessful day at work for the team. We got reapproval from the CIPD.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-964162857662037089.post-20736190466658045432014-06-11T08:11:00.002-07:002014-06-11T08:11:53.329-07:00Day 96 #100happydaysUp early, working with the Menace, to help him with his dyslexia. I quite like it in the morning, we work well together then, as there are not the distractions of other friends wanting to play.cbolamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01707442396546506490noreply@blogger.com0